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 fiction/humor
 

My Daily Quarantine Log

 3/31/2020
 

My Daily Corona Quarantine Log:

 

Day 1: In Florida for a wedding. Feel ridiculous for going to a wedding during a pandemic.

 

Day 2: See everyone else’s quarantine photos. Experience FOMO for the first time. Get nervous and order groceries in advance.

 

Day 3: Wedding is on. Don’t have to kiss or hug or touch anyone. The emotionally unavailable germ freak in me rejoices.

 

Day 4: Fly home. Wear a mask and gloves in the airport. Love not having to give fake friendly smiles. Hate that I can’t snack on the plane.

 

Day 5: Can’t stop watching the news. Worried about my parents. Frustrated that my grocery delivery brought me non-organic milk.

 

Day 6: Realize this is my antisocial introvert writer’s dream come true. Make jokes about it. Feel guilty for being happy.

 

Day 7: Go food shopping. Stock up on more dessert than vegetables. Feel embarrassed at check out.

 

Day 8: Realize quarantine is oddly similar to my regular life.

 

Day 9: Find out people are having zoom parties. Feel left out.

 

Day 10: Learn to do nail art.

 

Day 11: Start a podcast

 

Day 12: Finally get invited to a zoom party. Have to think of excuse to bail.

 

Day 13: Go on a walk. Get secretly offended when couples cross the street when they see me.

 

Day14: Download hinge. Delete hinge.

 

Day 15: Facetime friends. Resent friends for having to squeeze me in while the boyfriend is in the shower.

 

Day 16: Get put on furlough. Google furlough. Apply for unemployment.

 

Day 17: Vow to stop smoking weed and be productive.

 

Day 18: Smoke weed. Realize I’ve only spoken to a screen for two weeks and I’m living out the movie Her, but without the romance part. Eat all three boxes of cookies I bought.

 

Day 19: Mac n cheese for breakfast. Start responding to celebrities on Instagram.

 

Day 20: Catch myself thinking in the third person. It’s time to start writing.